How to be Miserable and Enjoy It


  1. Think and Talk About Yourself as Much as Possible:


In every conversation, use “I”, “me” and “my” as often as possible.  Center all your thoughts on your own interests, whatever you do or like and never become interested or concern about others.


Romans 15:1-2We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.”


  1. Measure Your Happiness by the Amount of Money or Possessions You Own.


If the first suggestion does not sound good to you, then this one will work.  Compare what you have (or do not have) with everyone you know.  Determine to devote your life to having more that any of those them.  But the Hebrew write says:


Hebrews 13:5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”


  1. Be Suspicious and Jealous of Everyone


Don’t trust anyone, especially anyone who might be in competition with you.  When another person is honored or praised, explain to everyone that you could have done better.  Envy everyone else their success and their happiness.


Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;” v.15Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”


  1. Be Sensitive, Easily Offended, and Impossible to be Comforted


Make everyone walk on eggshells around you for fear of offending you.  Look for insults in the comments of others, even when none are intended.  And then return their supposed insults and slights, humiliating them for speaking to you.




  1. Never Forget a Criticism of Another Person’s Mistakes


In order to be truly miserable a good memory is essential.  When someone has criticized you – or even if you just suppose they did – don’t ever forget it or let them forget it.  As they say misery loves company.


Philippians 2:33Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”


  1. Think the Worst About Everybody


If a rumor begins about someone else, tell those you see that you suspected it all along.  Expect the worst from others and you will usually get it.  If an action could have been motivated by greed or envy, assume that it is – then tell everybody.  Be like the scribes and Pharisees in their attitude toward Jesus:


Mark 2:16And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?”


  1. Demand Agreement With Your Opinions


Make sure everyone knows of your opinions and then sulk and pout with disappointment when others disagree.  Or if others don’t do something just the way you thought it should have been done complain loud and long and show them the error of their ways.  Do this without fail if the ones you are displeased with are the elders or preacher in the congregation where you attend.


Hebrews 13:7Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.”


  1. Never Forget A Good Deed You Have Done


Be proud of the occasional charitable act, or good thing that you might have done for someone.  If people don’t already know about it tell them.  Be offended if they don’t praise you or appreciate your graciousness as much as you do.


Matthew 6:14-15For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”


And there are more but these are more than sufficient.  But then you might be perfectly miserable without following these guidelines.  If you are; think on these things and the wisdom of God that we have presented in this short lesson.




William L. Schwegler; Sunset church of Christ, Wednesday Evening Devotional; April 8, 2009